It's nice, but I would really like to know about how to get it out.
In other news, I realized today how much I don't know. I was getting a wee bit nervous about Europe... I don't really know why I let myself get so weird about things. I think it has something to do with my mom always trying to get me not to have expectations and telling me that having none was better than having mine crushed and un-met. I think she was right to a certain extent, but I find it to be incredibly difficult to move away from any expectation at all. I attempt to remove expectations and I find myself apathetic and disinterested. I hate the melancholic feeling I get from that move, so I keep my expectations and my sense of adventure high and intact.
So I was thinking about this (and avoiding my thesis which is... daunting at best) and I realized that I have no idea about so much of the cultures which I'll be visiting. I think I'm a pretty smart person, and when it comes right down to it, I adaptable and fun. But those things are SUPER relative to the culture inwhich you live, and I got a nervous about how much I don't know... I mean- I think i have a pretty good grasp on the culture of Flanders in the 17th century and Greece in 500 b.c., but I have no idea what Greece is like in the 21st, and Flanders no longer exists... What will I do with myself!? Anyways- I guess I need to expand myself. This is the value of travelling.
Also, I am focusing on being positive about other people. I think it's the better thing to do, and will probably be a sincere challenge for me. It's a bad habit that I've gotten myself into, and I am realizing how much effect it has. I need to stop promptly. I guess the things are all interconnected. As always.
Vincent Van Gough, Skull with a Burning Cigarette, 1886
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